There seems to be an assumption that all Dominican men are sanky pankies, which is a word used for those who go out with foreign women with the sole objective of taking their money or to use them to leave the country. However, there are many good Dominican men, I am married to one, as are many other foreign women. Here is a basic questionnaire which might help you decide if your Dominican is a Sanky Panky or not.
Is my boyfriend a Sanky Panky?
Choose one answer to each question unless stated otherwise.
a. He has braided hair
b. He has long hair
c. He has normal short hair
a. He wears quite a lot of gold jewelry
b. He only has a little or no jewelry
a. He is an excellent dancer and not afraid to dance
b. He is an average dancer and dances sometimes
c. He doesn't dance
4. Language skills
a. He speaks very good English
b. He speaks average English
c. He can’t speak any English
a. He works in a hotel in animation/bar work
b. He works in a hotel doing something else
c. He works another tourist related job such as restaurant/bar/tour guide
d. He has a job outside the tourist industry
6. His finances
a. He has no bank account
b. He has a basic peso account
c. He has a peso account and a credit card
d. He has a peso account, maybe a dollar account, both with money in them, and a credit card.
7. Your finances
a. He asks you for money often and you send it
b. He doesn’t ask for money when you are not here, but you pay for everything when you are here.
c. He has never asked you for money
a. He called you baby, mami, mi amor within hours of meeting you
b. He calls you baby or similar even after knowing him a while
c. He uses your name
9. He tells you he loves you
a. Within a day
b. Within a week
c. He hasn’t said it
a. He asked you to marry him within a week
b. He asked you to marry him within three months/ or on your second visit
c. He asked you to marry him within a year/or on your third visit
d. He has not asked you to marry him
a. He has never travelled abroad, has no passport and no visas
b. He has travelled abroad once.
c. He has travelled abroad multiple times and has multiple visas.
12. His life (answer all which apply)
a. His mother has a serious illness and you have helped pay for treatment
b. He has been arrested when you were not here and you had to pay to get him out of jail
c. He was in hospital when you were not here and you had to pay the bills.
d. He lost his job when you were not here and you had to pay his rent.
Q1: A-3 B-2 C-1
Q2: A-3 B-1
Q3: A-3 B-1 C-0
Q4: A-2 B-1 C-0
Q5: A-4 B-3 C-2 D-1
Q6: A-3 B-2 C-1 D-0
Q7: A-5 B-3 C-0
Q8: A-3 B-2 C-1
Q9: A-3 B-2 C-0
Q10: A-4 B-3 C-1 D-0
Q11: A-2 B-1 C-0
Q12: A-4 B-4 C-4 D-4
51 – 38 This man is almost definitely a sanky panky. He is only after your money, and/or a visa to your country, where he is likely to leave you as soon as he arrives. He very probably has other foreign girlfriends as well. Get out before it is too late.
37 –28 There is a chance that this man is a sanky panky. He has learned some of the tricks of the trade. There is a possibility he is not, but you need to be aware. Suggest never send money when asked and see if he sticks around.
28- 10 It is probable that this man is not a sanky panky. There are many great Dominican men, and just because they work in hotel animation and speak English does not mean they are a sanky.
Below 10: Very doubtful this man is a sanky panky. Good luck in your relationship
What attracts a man to a woman or a woman to a man? It is a whole package. Looks, personality, compatibility. And also what each one will bring to the party. Remember many Dominican men are poor, and many are unemployed. If you have a relationship with a Dominican man you cannot deny that part of the attraction for them will be what they think you can do for them, whether it is financially or the opportunity to leave the Dominican Republic and find work. The chances are that you have more money than them, which may give them the opportunity to achieve something with their life. Many people assume that Dominicans want to marry a foreign woman to get a visa to another country. Many do leave with to join their foreign wives, but just as many do not want to leave their home country. It is also a status symbol to have a foreign girlfriend. Plus they are also attracted to your worldliness and knowledge – most love to learn.
However when should the warning bells start to ring. Firstly if he asks you for money and is lying about what it is for. Often it will be something desperate, especially if you are overseas – in jail, about to go to jail, very ill, or family member very ill. Be very wary of these requests. The second thing to watch out for is if he has a ‘wife’. Remember very few Dominicans actually marry, if you live with someone then they are considered to be husband and wife. The bad sankies will already be living with a Dominican woman, and will be with you just to extort money to provide for him and his wife.
But let’s look at the positives of living with a Dominican man. They are very loving and very caring, in fact you could say devoted. They are also very protective, which can lead to jealousy. They are very family orientated and will always support their families, not just you but their parents as well. You should expect your Dominican man to want to give money to his parents regularly. It is said that Latin men are very macho, but in my experience, and that of other women I know who are married to Dominicans, they will help around the house, clean and cook. And one of the great things I find is the optimism and the joy for life.
In the good relationships between Dominican men and foreign women it is a win win situation. Both get out of the relationship what they are looking for.
If you have any questions about Dominican men, what it is like to be married to one, the pros and cons, or wonder if your Dominican man is a sanky panky then have a look at DRsisterhood. The site and service have been set up especially for women with Dominican men as a means of information and support.
And if you want to read more about what it is really like being with a Dominican man then please buy my book "What about your saucepans?". It is available on Amazon and Apple iphone and Kobo. Kindle and paperback. I promise you you will not be disappointed.