Thursday, February 7, 2013

The sad tale of the crisps


One of the things I miss living here is British food. And before you all start saying the Brits can’t cook, I swear to you, British comfort food is the best in the world.
The last time I was in the UK was 2006, so over 6 years ago and I dream of a proper English roast dinner.


I also dream of blackberry crumble and cream – have never seen fresh blackberries here, nor fresh cream, just UHT stuff which is not the same.


I also long for parsnips, especially roast one, but have some seeds that I am praying will work in the new house as it will be colder in the mountains. I tried to plant them before but no luck.


And Bird’s custard powder – bananas and custard , or apple pie and custard, or I could even put it on my blackberry crumble instead of cream.


And I also miss the snack food. There is very little to snack on here. The crisps (I think Americans call them chips, which is what we Brits call french fries) are oily and not many interesting flavours, and apart from that there are just biscuits. The chocolate is horrid. I miss Cadbury Fruit and Nut. No one makes chocolate like Cadbury.


And Walnut Whips where you can bite the top off and suck out all the marshmallow then eat the chocolate and the little walnut which hides at the bottom under the marshmallow.


And I really miss decent crisps. Like Walkers Cheese and Onion.



And therein lies the tale. A friend went back to the UK and bought me 6 packets of Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps. Unless you have been without for 6 years you cannot know how excited I was. Much of the excitement is in the anticipation and imagining how they will taste. She flew home via New York and had to overnight in a hotel and came to chat on line. This is the conversation.
Her: “Hi, I am here in hotel and am starving.”
Me: “Oh, go and eat in the restaurant then.”
Her: “There isn't a restaurant. I will just eat a packet of your crisps.”
Me: “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.”
Too late. She ate a packet. Can you imagine the pain? So near and yet so far. 1 down, 5 to go.
I went to see her for the weekend with Chivirico to pick up my crisps. We were coming back on the bus and Chivirico announces he is hungry. “Eat a raw mushroom,” I said. “I want crisps,” he replied. “Think again. You are not touching my Cheese and Onion crisps.” Quivering lip and I gave in. 2 down, 4 to go.
Arrived home and put crisps in bedroom for safe keeping. In the morning, 2 packets gone. Investigation carried out, appears husband and stepson did not realise value of said crisps. 4 down, 2 to go.
Next day Chivirico in the bedroom watching cartoons while I was working – 5 down, 1 to go.
Yesterday I prepared myself to watch television and at last eat my Cheese and Onion crisps. I dreamed about it all morning as I was working. I sat on the bed, opened the packet and savoured the smell. I ate my first crisp. Fabulous. Then someone yelled at the gate, so I ran out. I returned to the bedroom to see dog licking lips and one empty packet of Cheese and Onion crisps on the floor.
Moral of story. Trust no one when crisps are around.

24 comments:

  1. Reading this whilst eating a Greggs Egg Mayo sandwich and Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps!!! My daughter suffers in Canada similarly for Pickled Onion Monster Munch!

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    1. Grrrr. How can you be reading this whilst eating the self same crisps?! Tell your daughter she has all my sympathy. Now you have me thinking about real pickled onions and cheddar cheese.

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  2. Your life is like a movie- you can’t make this stuff up! Next time I’m in the DR, I would love to meet you Lindsay and I promise I will bring the goodies on your list (well, as many as I can find here).
    Ana Q.

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    1. It sounds like an excellent plan Ana Q. And yes, life is a bit too much like a movie here at times!

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  3. OMG!....I am sooooooooooo with you on this one. Love the Walker´s crisp scenario - I would be absolutely livid!! (Actually, I was, just reading it).
    My husband and I are also Brits living in DR (for 4 years now - in Las Terrenas). We often have dreamy moments of faves that we desperately miss. For sure Cadbury choco - if we are ever lucky to have it, it´s always well hidden from our 2 kids, who have absolutely no appreciation for it whatsoever. For them it´s JUST chocolate!. Walkers crisps (Salt´n´vinegar), Monster Munch and many others. Thank God we have been able to get our beloved Marmite....... Albeit resorting to special order from Amazon.com and paying over the odds for it: but hey, you do what you have to do..... it was so worth the extra $ to have satisfaction and happiness.:)

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    1. Lucky you living in Las Terrenas. Yes I agree on the kids, no appreciation at all, and impossible to limit to a square or two a day so that it lasts. They don't understand how you can look forward to it all day, and then go to the fridge to find it gone. Makes me almost suicidal when that happens. I like Marmite, but isn't on my desperate list, apart from the fact that no way the Dominican husband or kids would ever nick it!

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  4. Oh cuz I feel so guilty now knowing we buy the said crisps by the box!!!! I do hope that you get some visitors this year and get some of the goodies that you so miss xx

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    1. Crisps by the box??? How dare you lol! Well come and visit me and bring a few boxes - please!

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  5. I was quite content cruising the interwebs whilst munching my dry, tasteless "Caribas Platanos Original" crisps until your photo of the roast dinner appeared before me.

    Having read the whole post I'm now craving badly. Oh for a wiff of a pub roast dinner! Or a morsel of Fry's Turkish Delight! Or proper Danishhhh bacon! Or proper bread! mmmmmm M&S Gourmet Ready-meals... thanks Lindsay

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    1. Turkish delight I forgot that one, and proper Danish bacon and English sausages. Lovely bread and don't get me started on M&S. Their bread and butter pudding - to die for.
      Sorry Yumi. Will get back to eating my mangu and salami.

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  6. Ohh that is just too sad. If I'd only known I could have brought you the Canadian Cadbury Fruit and Nut (also my favourite! and in my opinion not much different than the ones in the U.K.) and some Birds Custard powder. I can get both easily. I just arrived on the first and we are always looking for an excuse to travel the country so would have even delivered!

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    1. Never mind. Thanks for the thought, and have a great vacation. Feel free to visit even without the crisps.

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  7. Aww I feel for you. Maybe next time you should just eat one first and then share. I am right now waiting patiently for my friend to bring me some coconut tarts that my granny in the V.I. has sent for me so I know and feel your pain. But now now I have head out to Sainsbury's to stock up on groceries. I will pick up some Walker's and spear a thought for you. :)

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    1. Gosh I miss Sainsbury's. Enjoy your crisps - grrrrrrrrr!

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  8. Next time, as soon as they are in your possession, eat all chips in one go all by yourself locked in the bathroom.

    Having not lived for decades in my own home country, the Netherlands, I know how you feel about your own home foods. There's nothing better, yes, even about Dutch food, which has about the same reputation as English cuisine.

    When living in Africa, I learned about Bird's custard. Good stuff, but easily made yourself if you have cornstarch (cornflour) and vanilla. Custard is a big thing in Holland too, and you buy cartons of the stuff in the dairy section in the supermarket.

    Enjoyed your post!

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    1. Thanks about the custard tip - I can get cornstarch and vanilla here. Next time I get the crisp delivery, the bathroom it is.

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  9. Ohhhh Robyn, how could you let your crisps out of your sight! You should have locked them in a safe! lol.
    I too love the fruit and nut Cadbury's, never heard of Walnut whips but they sound great. Hope you get another delivery soon.

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    1. Walnut whips definitely worth trying Sami.

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  10. those walkers look a lot like the frito lays that they sell here in the colmados :p, oh and im pretty sure you will find a much more comfortable life style here in the capital :D.. havent you heard. santo domingo lo tiene todo jejej

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    1. Walkers are a million times nicer than Frito Lay - although I eat Frito Lay as there is nada mas. Yes the capital would be much better for food, but I am a country girl and prefer the mountains!

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  11. I laughed so hard I snorted diet Coke from my nose. I envisioned the dog's guilty face while smacking his lips with his tongue and your dirty look.

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    1. So sorry about waste of Diet Coke. Dog did not look guilty at all, just very happy as first time eating decent crisps!

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  12. ay dios now I can't stop thinking about all the food I will miss once we've moved down to the capital this summer! I might have to eat lots of them so that I wouldn't even be able to look at them for years!

    enjoying your blog as always

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    1. You should be much better off than me in the capital Jennifer. No Cadbury chocolate nor Walker's crisps but much more variety than in the countryside.

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